I woke up today suddenly feeling exceptionally guilty of something I couldn't put a finger to. Then I realised what it was. I was questioning my heart about whether I'm a good friend, whether I feel obligated to be someone's friend because they regard me as one or because I'm afraid to hurt them. I feel guilty because I realised that I'm actually not a good friend. Sometimes, I would feel unnecessarily irritated or should I say...hmmm paranoid when one calls me something negative, even if she meant no harm. I get tired of people sometimes for the slightest reasons. I know I may be unreasonable here, but I can get tired of people's lameness (as in sometimes people can get really lame) although I know I shouldn't be feeling this way since they respect me as a friend and I should do so in return. I don't know. I'm confused. Why can't this world be a world where one can have one's cake and eat it? Why must there always be something to ponder about when I thought I was finished with all the shit in the world? Why must something always crop up when I'm already feeling bleak? Why? I really hate all this shit. Can't you please just freaking stop?
tired of chasing after things that don't belong, tired of struggling to impress, tired of trying too hard then falling so hard, tired of heartaches, tired of getting back on track, tired of facades; facades that last only to reveal the inside that you'd desperately tried to conceal
I woke up today suddenly feeling exceptionally guilty of something I couldn't put a finger to. Then I realised what it was. I was questioning my heart about whether I'm a good friend, whether I feel obligated to be someone's friend because they regard me as one or because I'm afraid to hurt them. I feel guilty because I realised that I'm actually not a good friend. Sometimes, I would feel unnecessarily irritated or should I say...hmmm paranoid when one calls me something negative, even if she meant no harm. I get tired of people sometimes for the slightest reasons. I know I may be unreasonable here, but I can get tired of people's lameness (as in sometimes people can get really lame) although I know I shouldn't be feeling this way since they respect me as a friend and I should do so in return. I don't know. I'm confused. Why can't this world be a world where one can have one's cake and eat it? Why must there always be something to ponder about when I thought I was finished with all the shit in the world? Why must something always crop up when I'm already feeling bleak? Why? I really hate all this shit. Can't you please just freaking stop?
